A divorce is always difficult. The taking apart of a family is never easy. If you have children, it can be that much more difficult. Not only do you have to get over all of the disagreements and irritations from your former spouse that led to the divorce, but also you still have to work with them to raise your children within the terms of your child custody agreement.

Divorced with children is a difficult course to take. You have to develop ways of dealing with your former spouse with all of the interaction you must have as you co-parent your children. While it may not be easy, the important thing to remember is that it can be done and the better you are able to make it work, the better your children will be.

When courts make determinations concerning children in family law matters, the guiding principle they use is “the best interests of the children.” Of course, the devil is in the details, and divorce parents may have differing views on what is in the best interest of their children, but even if you cannot always agree 100 percent, reminding yourself that the children’s best interest should be your goal can help.

Some recommendations on how to do this include recognizing that you can only control your side of the custody arrangement, and attempting to micromanage the other parent will only cause conflict.

Keep your communication factual and convey information, not hidden insults or sarcasm.

And while time may seem to drag when dealing with your ex, your children’s childhood will be gone much more quickly than you realize when they are toddlers.

You don’t want all of your memories to be of conflict and bad feelings, and you certainly don’t want their memories to be of that. Work to maximize the good in your situation, and everyone will benefit.