Everybody hates child support. Or so it seems. Men paying child support hate it. Women who receive (or often do not receive) hate it. Even Oklahoma family court judges hate it. Well, they may not hate it, but they do not enjoy the process any more than anyone else does. Why? Probably for all the possible reasons you can think of, and then add a few more.

How is it that child support, one of the most fundamental concepts within family law, be so despised? Because many of the participants within the system lose sight of why it exists. It is there to ensure that children have the necessary financial support to grow up properly. It becomes hated when it become a proxy for everything else that is wrong within the system.

Deadbeat dads who fail to make their payments. Mothers who squander the payments on other things. Sure, this happens, but it does not have to happen. You have the choice, whether as one obligated to pay or one making the spending decisions for the children.

Child support obligations need to be reasonable, to ensure a father does not fall into unredeemable debt, nor should a mother be left struggling, attempting to make ends meet.

In the end, it is important to remember that child support payments are not a club to beat the other spouse. Men making payments need to keep in mind they owe their children an obligation, no matter how much they now dislike the child’s mother.

Women need to understand why their ex-husband may find the payment intensely irritating, and they need to be thankful they are receiving the payment. Gloating and grandstanding do nothing to promote the best interests of your children. Working together with your children’s other parent to see that your children’s need, financial and emotional, is the best support you give your children.